Female Chemistry 101

Female Chemistry

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
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MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET: WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Women

SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg

OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas 

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

She's a child and not a bride.

Check your status!

Who is the caller? lol

Who called the radio presenter?

I finally solved the equation!!!

All these while have been straining my brain on how to solve the equation below:

Neymar + Ribery = ?

But i finally got it..

Neymar + Ribery = Neybery

(check the picture to see for yourself)

Whats your definition of a Big Club.

Have been arguing with mates over this for a while now and we've not been able to set a criteria on what actually makes a club a big club because every time we tried to do so ever fan tried to skew the criteria in their favour.

What actually makes a club a big club? This question have been going on for a while even among professional pundits and commentators.

1. People talk about history. Personally i believe once a club is a day old they already have history the proper question should be "how successfully is your history.

2. Some people grade club in terms of their financial pull. What sort of player and manager a club can attract.

3. Some grade with how well they have performed in recent time in European tournaments.

4. Another yardstick used will be stadium capacity and money generated from gate takings not having a half filled huge capacity stadium. Also the size of their fans.

5. Some is about here and now. What can your club do now? Have they got the power to hold on to your best players and fulfil their ambitions?

6. Some will argue that its all about global recognition about how their name is a brand name known all over the world.

7. Some will argue that its the set-up of a club that makes it a big club. How well their academy is set up. how many young talented players they've produced over the years.

Depending on which criteria suits one, using these yardsticks to judge teams say for example premier league top 10 one will see teams drifting in any out of the so called "Big Club".

Every Pastor Who Collects Tithes Is A Thief - Femi Aribisala

5 May, 2013

As far as many pastors are concerned, the most important scripture of all is not to be found in the word of Jesus.  Neither is it even in the New Testament. 

That scripture says: “‘Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house, and try me now in this,’ says the LORD of hosts, ‘If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it.’” (Malachi 3:10).

This scripture is drummed repeatedly into Christians on Sundays.  However, the only time Jesus mentioned tithing in scripture, he pointed out that it was not a weighty matter of the law. (Matthew 23:23).  Hebrews says people only receive tithes “according to the law.” (Hebrews 7:5).  It then insists tithing (and everything else under the law) has been annulled: “The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless.” (Hebrews 7:18-19).  Nevertheless, mercenary pastors continue to insist on the payment of tithes.

Latter-day Pharisees

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for keeping part instead of the whole law. (Matthew 23:23). That is what tithe-collecting pastors do today.  If we insist our congregants must pay tithes, we must also insist that they keep the rest of the law.  James says: “Whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2:10).  Therefore, if we insist on tithing, we should also refrain from eating pork.  We should stone adulterers, execute homosexuals, kill Sabbath violators and restore blood-sacrifices.

Tithe-collecting pastors counter this by maintaining the payment of tithes pre-dated the law.  Here Abraham is cited as the cardinal example of someone who paid tithes before the promulgation of the Law of Moses, as did Jacob, his grandson.  However, such arguments are disingenuous.

Before the law, tithing was at best an example but not a commandment.  Moreover, pastors fail to mention that Abraham only tithed once in his lifetime.  When he did, he did not even tithe his own money: he tithed the spoils of war.  He gave ten percent of the plunder he took when he rescued Lot to Melchisedec, king of Salem.  But then he did not even keep the rest but returned it (all ninety percent) to the king of Sodom.

For his part, Jacob also tithed only once.  He did this in a “let’s make a deal” arrangement he offered to God: “Jacob made a vow, saying, ‘If God will be with me, and keep me in this way that I am going, and give me bread to eat and clothing to put on, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then the LORD shall be my God.  And this stone which I have set as a pillar shall be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will surely give a tenth to you.’” (Genesis 28:20-22).  This kind of deal about accepting God only under certain self-serving conditions should certainly not be a term of reference for any serious believer.

Lies upon lies

The first lie pastors tell Christians is what some have referred to as “the eleventh commandment:” “Thou shalt pay thy tithes to thy local church.”  But the bible says no such thing.  The storehouse of Malachi was not a church.  It was a place where food was kept.

Pastors hide from church-members the fact that money was not acceptable as tithe.  The tithe was a tenth of the seed and fruit of the land and of the animals which ate of the land. (Leviticus 27:30-32).  That is why God says: “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be FOOD in my house.” (Malachi 3:10).  He does not say “that there may be MONEY in my house.”  The food was used to feed the Levites, the poor, widows, orphans and strangers.

Pastors also conveniently fail to teach the biblical tithe.  The principles of tithing were not laid down by Malachi.  They were laid down by Moses.  The study of Moses’ guidelines quickly reveals that the biblical tithe has no application whatsoever to Christians and is mischievously violated by tithe-collecting pastors today.

According to the Law of Moses, the tithe was divided into three allocations.  The first year, it was given to the Levite.  The second year, it was given to widows, orphans and the poor.  The third year, it was eaten in the company of the faithful before the Lord as thanksgiving for his faithfulness. (Deuteronomy 14:22-28).  In the seventh year, there was no planting and no reaping and therefore no tithing.

So the next time your pastor asks you to pay tithe, ask him about the seventh-year reprieve.  Also ask him if you can give your tithe to the orphanage, or bring it as food items to be eaten in church.  Believe me; he will not agree with you because it is your money he is after.

Inapplicability of tithes

Tithing was only applicable to Jews and to the land of Israel.  When large populations of Jews lived in Babylon, Ammon, Moab, Egypt, and Syria, these lands became tithe-able lands.  However, tithes were not acceptable from strictly Gentile lands.  So you need to ask your pastor how come he is collecting tithes in Nigeria.

Servants or slaves who worked on the land did not tithe because the land did not belong to them.  Since only agricultural and animal resources were included, a fisherman gave no tithe of his fisheries.  Neither did a miner or a carpenter pay tithes, nor anyone from the various professional occupations.  So if you are not a farmer or a keeper of livestock, tell your 419 pastor tithing is biblically inapplicable to you.

Moreover, the only people authorised to receive tithes were the Levites. (Hebrews 7:5).  So if your Pastor is a “tithe-collector,” ask him if he happens to be a Jew.  Remind him that, even though a Jew, Jesus could not receive the tithe because he was not from the tribe of Levi but from that of Judah.

The trick, of course, is for pastors today to claim we are “Levites.”  If your pastor is one such dissembler, ask him if he lives as a Levite.  Remind him that Levites had no land and did not have private property.  Ask him also how he knows he is from the tribe of Levi, which happens to be one of the lost tribes of Israel.  Point out to him that even Jewish rabbis don’t claim to be Levites today because all Jewish genealogical records were lost with the destruction of the Temple in AD 70, ensuring that it is no longer possible to ascertain the true identity of Levites.

Therefore, if Jews no longer tithe because the Levites are a lost tribe, how can Christian pastors collect tithes when we are not even Jewish, how much more Levites?  If Jewish rabbis, whose terms of reference remain the Old Testament no longer collect tithes, then pastors who insist Christians are under a New Testament have no business doing so.

The conclusion then is inescapable. Every pastor who collects tithes is nothing but “a thief and a robber.” (John 10:1).

WHY IS THE CHILD IN HANDS OF THE BEGGARS ALWAYS SLEEPING????????????

WHY IS THE CHILD IN HANDS OF THE BEGGARS ALWAYS SLEEPING??????????????

"Why is sleeping child in the hands of beggars? Have you ever wondered ... "

This article I read a few months ago. Who is the author of, I don't know.

Please read…..

""Near the metro station sits a woman of uncertain age.

Women’s hair

is confused and dirty, her head bowed in grief.

The woman sits on the dirty floor and next to her lies a bag. In that bag

people throw money. On the hands of a woman, asleep, is a two year old baby. He's in a dirty hat and dirty clothes.

“Madonna with baby” - numerous passers-by will donate money. The people of our kind- we always feel sorry for less fortunate. We are ready to give unfortunate people the last shirt, the last penny out of your pocket and never think another issue.

Helping, seems like. “Good job done”...

I walked past a beggar for a month. Did not give any money, as I knew that this is a gang operated scam and money collected by the beggar will be given to whoever controls beggars in the area. Those people own numerous luxury properties and cars.

Oh and beggar also gets something, of course “ A bottle of vodka in the evening and a döner kebab”.

A month later, walking past the beggars, as shock, it suddenly

hit me….

I'm staying at a busy crossing, stared at the baby, dressed as always- dirty track suit. I realized that it

seemed "wrong", finding a child in a dirty underground station from morning to evening.

The baby slept. Never sobbed or screamed, always asleep, burying his face in the knee of a woman who was his MUM.

Do any of you, dear readers, have children? Remember how often they

slept at the age of 1-2-3 years? Hour two, maximum three (not consecutive)

afternoon nap, and again – movement. For the whole month, every day of my

walking in the underground, I've never seen a child awake! I looked

at the tiny little man, with his face buried in the knee of his mother, then at the beggar, and my

suspicion was gradually formed.

– Why he sleeps all the time? I asked, staring at the baby.

The beggar pretended not to hear me. She lowered her eyes and

hid her face in the collar of her shabby jacket. I repeated the question. The woman again

looked up. She looked somewhere behind my back, tired with utter irritation. Her look was similar to the creatures from a different planet.

-F **k off ... her lips murmured.

-Why is he asleep?! I almost cried ...

Behind me someone put his hand on my shoulder. I looked back. A some old man was looking at me disapprovingly:

– What do you want from her? Can’t you see how hard she’s got it in her life… Eh …

He gets some coins from his pocket and throws them in the beggar’s bag.

Beggar made a hand wave of a cross, portraying the face of humility and universal

grief. The guy removed his hand from my shoulder and strolled out of the underground station.

I bet, at home, he will tell how he defended poor, distraught woman from a soulless man in a tube station.

Next day I called a friend. It was a funny man with eyes like olives Romanian nationality. He only managed to complete three and a half years of education. The complete lack of education does not prevent him from moving around the

City streets on very expensive foreign cars and live in a “small” house with countless number of windows and balconies. From my friend I managed to find out that this business, despite the apparent

spontaneity, clearly organized. Its supervised by begging organized crime rings. The children used are in "rent"

from families of alcoholics, or simply stolen.

I needed to get the answer to the question – why is the baby sleeping? And I received it. My friend Gypsy said the phrase, completely ordinary with calm voice that twisted me in shock, just like he was talking about weather report:

-They are on heroin, or vodka ...

I was dumbfounded. "Who is on heroin? Whom – under vodka?! "

He answered

-The Child, so he doesn’t scream. The women will be sitting whole day with him, imagine how he might get bored?

In order to make the baby slept the whole day, it pumped up with vodka or drugs. Of course, children's bodies are not able to cope with such a shock. And children often die. The most terrible thing – sometimes children die

during the "working day". And imaginary mother must hold another dead child on her hands until the evening. These are the rules. And the by passers-by will throw some money in the bag, and believe that they are moral. Helping

"mother alone" …

… The next day I was walking near the same underground station. I stocked up journalistic identity, and was ready for a serious conversation. But the conversation didn't work out. But turned out the following ...

A woman was sitting on the floor and in her hands she was holding a child. I asked her a question about the documents on the child, and, most importantly, where was yesterday's kid, which she simply ignored.

My questions were not ignored by passers-by. I was told that I was out of my mind screaming at poor beggar with a child. All in all, I was escorted out of the tube station in disgrace. One thing remained was to call the police. When police arrived, beggar with the baby disappeared. I stood with a full sense of - “I'm trying to fight windmills”.

When you see in the subway, on the street whether women with children,

begging, think before your hand climb for money. Think about that, if it wasn't for your hundreds of thousands of handouts, the business like this would have died. The business would die and not the children-inflated with vodka or

drugs. Do not look at the sleeping child with affection. See horror… Since you're reading this article, you know now- why the child is sleeping in beggars hands.

P.S.

If you copy this article on your wall or just click "Share", your friends will read it too.

And when you decide again to open your wallet to throw a coin to a beggar, remember that this

charity could cost another child's life.""